Frustrated? Your perspective matters. Choose wisely.

First published on The Instillery’s Cloud Log.

Do you often find yourself in meetings or situations where you feel different? Separate? Just can’t understand where someone else is coming from? What is going on here? How does your perspective unite you with, or isolate you from, the world around you?

Unity or isolation depends on your perspective.

Me/Mine? You/Yours? We/Ours? Them/Theirs?

Do you identify yourself as:

  • NZ born and raised?
  • European? Asian?
  • Female? Male?
  • Heterosexual? LGBT?
  • Religious? Atheist?
  • A Wellingtonian? A JAFA?
  • An All Black supporter?
  • A member of the Human Race?
Are you:

  • ICT?
  • Sales?
  • Support?
  • Management?
  • Exec?
  • Employed?
  • Contract?
  • A Company team player?

These are just a sample of the perspectives we use, every moment, often subconsciously. Usually we are using multiple perspectives at the same time.

Unity or isolation depends on our perspective.

Me/Mine? You/Yours? We/Ours? Them/Theirs? Our perspectives determine how we see ourselves as part of larger systems. “This is part of who I am and I am part of this.” Our perspective changes our sense of self and our sense of other. Which perspectives we use to look at a situation, a person, a problem, are often an unconscious choice, a reaction.

We can use these perspectives to emphasise Unity or Isolation. We have a choice about the perspective we use to view the world and each situation we find ourselves in. We can subconsciously react or consciously respond with the perspective we choose to use.

When you are feeling different, separate, or just can’t understand where someone else is coming from, try being aware of the perspectives you are using to view things. Deliberately choose to change your perspective if it is not creating the unity you need.

We are all connected. We are all part of something, many “somethings”; bigger than ourselves, bigger than our concerns, desires and prejudices.

Moment by moment we have a choice. Be aware of the perspectives you are choosing. Choose, be active and responsive.

Which perspectives will you choose?

Isolation or Unity?

Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Free?

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Read this short, but powerful article this weekend. I often ask,
“Do I want the right thing done, or to have people know I got it right?”
In that case, perhaps drop the in principle posturing and say, “Whatever”.

There’s a lot of freedom in giving up on a matter of principle, so you can move on with your life.

When at an impasse in a difficult situation, the freedom comes in saying “OK, whatever. Have it your way, but let’s stop the silliness.”

Letting go is tough, though… because you’re right. And you want everyone to acknowledge it! But there’s a price to pay for being right and receiving the acknowledgment.

“Life is too short for this” is a great mantra for conflict management.

Do you need to be right all the time? Maybe it’s better to just be free.

Do you understand the Business’s Goals?

Without a real understanding of the drivers behind the Business's request, especially if we ask and get something vague or nothing, we in ICT will assume (we know where that can go).
 
The Solution is a means, not the Goal. We should not assume we know what the Solution is trying to fix for the Business, we should be aligned and know. We need to ask, “Why, why, why”, and confirm what is driving their request for the Solution.
 
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